Friday, May 04, 2007
"Agave"
Margarita Jell-O shots are so easy to make you can probably stumble your way through the how-to even if you've started celebrating "Cinco De Mayo" on the 4th.
Ingredients:
1: Substitute half the water required for boiling with margarita mix and bring to a boil.
2 : Once your margarita mix and water are boiling, stir in your Jell-O until fully dissolved.
3: Substitute all remaining water in the recipe with cold agave tequila.
4 : Spray the inside of your plastic cups with your non-stick cooking spray. It will help the stickier-than-usual alcoholic Jell-O slide out. Do not use butter-flavored spray or your pallet is in a world of shit.
5 : Chill for 6-7 hours.
6 : Dust the rim of the cups or top of Jell-O shots lightly with a fine-grain salt.
7 : Chugalug.
Ingredients:
- Lime or strawberry Jell-O.
- 100% agave tequila. Sauza is cheap and agave.
- Prefab margarita mix.
- Little plastic cups.
- Non-stick cooking spray.
1: Substitute half the water required for boiling with margarita mix and bring to a boil.
2 : Once your margarita mix and water are boiling, stir in your Jell-O until fully dissolved.
3: Substitute all remaining water in the recipe with cold agave tequila.
4 : Spray the inside of your plastic cups with your non-stick cooking spray. It will help the stickier-than-usual alcoholic Jell-O slide out. Do not use butter-flavored spray or your pallet is in a world of shit.
5 : Chill for 6-7 hours.
6 : Dust the rim of the cups or top of Jell-O shots lightly with a fine-grain salt.
7 : Chugalug.
Friday, March 02, 2007
"Faaaaaaantastic Ways To Die"
458 BC: The Greek playwright Aeschylus was killed when an eagle dropped a live tortoise on him, mistaking his bald head for a stone.
260: According to some accounts, Roman emperor Valerian, after being defeated in battle and captured by the Persians, was used as a footstool by their king Shapur I. After a long period of mistreatment and humiliation, he offered Shapur a huge ransom for his release. In reply, Shapur had molten gold poured down Valerian's throat. He then had the unfortunate emperor skinned and his skin stuffed with straw or dung and preserved as a trophy in the main Persian temple. Only after Persia's defeat in their last war with Rome three and a half centuries later was his skin given a cremation and burial.
1687: Jean-Baptiste Lully, composer, died of a gangrenous abscess after piercing his foot with a staff while he was vigorously conducting a Te Deum.. The performance was to celebrate the king's recovery from an illness.
1899: French president Félix Faure died of a stroke while being fellated in his office.
1911: Jack Daniel, founder of the Tennessee whiskey distillery, died of blood poisoning six years after receiving a toe injury when he kicked his safe in anger at being unable to remember its combination code.
There's much, much more.
I personally plan on going out in a glorious shower of fun-sized Snickers and Kit Kats after stuffing a snowsuit full of the things and leaping out of a plane into a major metropolitan area.
458 BC: The Greek playwright Aeschylus was killed when an eagle dropped a live tortoise on him, mistaking his bald head for a stone.
260: According to some accounts, Roman emperor Valerian, after being defeated in battle and captured by the Persians, was used as a footstool by their king Shapur I. After a long period of mistreatment and humiliation, he offered Shapur a huge ransom for his release. In reply, Shapur had molten gold poured down Valerian's throat. He then had the unfortunate emperor skinned and his skin stuffed with straw or dung and preserved as a trophy in the main Persian temple. Only after Persia's defeat in their last war with Rome three and a half centuries later was his skin given a cremation and burial.
1687: Jean-Baptiste Lully, composer, died of a gangrenous abscess after piercing his foot with a staff while he was vigorously conducting a Te Deum.. The performance was to celebrate the king's recovery from an illness.
1899: French president Félix Faure died of a stroke while being fellated in his office.
1911: Jack Daniel, founder of the Tennessee whiskey distillery, died of blood poisoning six years after receiving a toe injury when he kicked his safe in anger at being unable to remember its combination code.
There's much, much more.
I personally plan on going out in a glorious shower of fun-sized Snickers and Kit Kats after stuffing a snowsuit full of the things and leaping out of a plane into a major metropolitan area.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
"Lack Of Miracles : Solved"
The following is the reason God's gone light on the miracles since approximately 2000 years ago as revealed to me by the Prophet Absolutpeach (PBUH).
The old and new testament drained God's mana stores (especially Exodus) and big miracles take a long time to recharge until available again. God's gotta rely on "Washer & Dryer Fix lvl 1" and "Rogue's Key-Ring Detection lvl4" until his beefier spells are ready and he can go in for another full-on assault.
In short; God is a D&D player.
The old and new testament drained God's mana stores (especially Exodus) and big miracles take a long time to recharge until available again. God's gotta rely on "Washer & Dryer Fix lvl 1" and "Rogue's Key-Ring Detection lvl4" until his beefier spells are ready and he can go in for another full-on assault.
In short; God is a D&D player.
Monday, January 29, 2007
"Wine Em & Dine Em"
Fun fact : Casino beds are just a touch softer than casino floors. The Rainbow casino and hotel took a page from McDonalds and made their rooms as uncomfortable to stay in as humanly possible without resorting to a full-on dungeon motif.
The debauchery flowed like water and time was spent with truly exceptional people.
SPORTS!
The debauchery flowed like water and time was spent with truly exceptional people.
SPORTS!
Friday, January 26, 2007
"Why I Am A Certified Badass : Exhibit C-24-O"
I have managed to secure a hotel room at the "Rainbow" in Wendover for the low-low price of a bottle of Jagermeister. I can't stand the stuff, but the Jagermonster that provided the room sure has a soft spot for it.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
"I Am Not An Asshole..."
I am not an asshole, but I laughed myself silly at this. It's a "Cat Spa". Whoever thought this is a good idea needs more funding to bring more of their dreams to life.
Click here. You know you want to.
This weekend we're heading out with a bunch of friends to visit Las Vegas' strung-out tweaker of a little sister. Wendover, NV. I refer to Wendover in such terms because it is little more than 5 casinos, an Arby's, and a titty bar straddling the UT/NV border.
One great man summed up Wendover perfectly, describing it as "A wretched hive of scum and villainy". Knowing this group or travel-buddies it's going to be chaotic, barbarous, and gloriously worth every moment.
Wish me luck for the Blackjack table.
Click here. You know you want to.
This weekend we're heading out with a bunch of friends to visit Las Vegas' strung-out tweaker of a little sister. Wendover, NV. I refer to Wendover in such terms because it is little more than 5 casinos, an Arby's, and a titty bar straddling the UT/NV border.
One great man summed up Wendover perfectly, describing it as "A wretched hive of scum and villainy". Knowing this group or travel-buddies it's going to be chaotic, barbarous, and gloriously worth every moment.
Wish me luck for the Blackjack table.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
"Rough"
My Monday consisted of me getting violently ill while getting ready for work followed by 19 hours of sleep.
Today my mind feels like a dark bubble populated by large eels trying their damndest to breach the membrane.
Here's a picture of my asshole ferret, Scrabble.
My Monday consisted of me getting violently ill while getting ready for work followed by 19 hours of sleep.
Today my mind feels like a dark bubble populated by large eels trying their damndest to breach the membrane.
Here's a picture of my asshole ferret, Scrabble.
